I’m an eminent and optimistic bioscientist now

Here is another jewel from my academic spam collection. Am I busy and committed? Yes. Can I help a damsel in distress who needs to release an issue by next week? As I am an eminent author, again, a resounding yes. Would even one of my unpublished papers be feasible for submitting? Krista, say no more.

This is such a wonderfully mixed message. On the one hand, the slightly surreal English and the spammy subject of Optimistic Response. On the other, the junior editor’s all American name, an ISSN, a professional website, and an ISI impact factor of “2.120” (yes, three digits), which looks almost real. Of course, it is not: ISI is not ISI. You can’t make this up. But they can.

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